Unhappy Halloween
Oct. 31st, 2004 09:18 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
athenaltenaThis is not a happy haloween at all. Everything, excuse my language, is really fucked up right now. Basically, my mother keeps getting drunk and doesn't realize it.
I had a conversation with my father last night about this, and I realized that this is really starting to mess me up. I keep crying at odd times because of this, I'm tired because I'm so sad, and I was crying in the barn for 10 minutes last night. I don't know what I'm going to do. Trying to talk to her will just make her last out at me, and I don't want to have to deal with that.
I am glad I talked to my dad. We agreed on a few things: One, that this is a problem and it is affecting my emotional and psychological health. Two, that this is a problem and she doesn't know it is, or probably even think about it. Three, that's she's not so much addicted as it's just a habit, but with everything else she's dealing with it is a problem. And four, that if she realized that she was dealing back to me the same thing she experienced as a child she would be crushed and hopefully stop.
This also means that I probably won't drink at all when I grow older, since all I've seen alchohol do is bad things. Plus, my mother is being very hypocritical about all this, since when my dad switched his medication it caused him to act a bit like this, and now she's doing the same thing. I might end up calling a hotline or going to that group for the families of AA, I forgot the name. In short, this is really fucked up.
I had a conversation with my father last night about this, and I realized that this is really starting to mess me up. I keep crying at odd times because of this, I'm tired because I'm so sad, and I was crying in the barn for 10 minutes last night. I don't know what I'm going to do. Trying to talk to her will just make her last out at me, and I don't want to have to deal with that.
I am glad I talked to my dad. We agreed on a few things: One, that this is a problem and it is affecting my emotional and psychological health. Two, that this is a problem and she doesn't know it is, or probably even think about it. Three, that's she's not so much addicted as it's just a habit, but with everything else she's dealing with it is a problem. And four, that if she realized that she was dealing back to me the same thing she experienced as a child she would be crushed and hopefully stop.
This also means that I probably won't drink at all when I grow older, since all I've seen alchohol do is bad things. Plus, my mother is being very hypocritical about all this, since when my dad switched his medication it caused him to act a bit like this, and now she's doing the same thing. I might end up calling a hotline or going to that group for the families of AA, I forgot the name. In short, this is really fucked up.
