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athenaltenaGot back from Oregon last night... got delayed twice at PDX and O'Hare, then the gate got moved, finally made it back around midnight.
That was an interesting trip. I actually partially typed up this entry, but my computer's being a bitch. Oh well. I uncovered something important from my past...
I did love one person in Feudal Japan, but it never went anywhere. His name was Subaru (it was really Subarashi, but Subaru was his nickname). I had known him since I was a kid, and he was a year or to older than me. We worked in the part of the palace guard that dealt with the Yakuza, so we worked together quite a bit. He was also one of the only people who knew that I had been attacked by the Yakuza.
When I told him, he didn't judge me, but he held me when I started to cry. He was sweet like that. But I never realized how I felt about him, until the last time I saw him. He told me that he had been made an offer by a Yakuza to look the other way on a crime, and he was going to refuse the bribe. I tried to tell him, to tell him that they would kill him like they had tried to kill me, only it would probably work on him.
But he wouldn't listen, he was determined to do what was right. I was starting to get tears in my eyes, so he reached out and put his hand on my cheek. I can't describe how it felt, but it was like I was on fire. I couldn't move, I could barely breathed. I realized then how I felt about him. He just smiled sadly at me and told me that this was something he had to do, and then he left me.
I learned two days later of his death, and I wept, more than I can ever remember doing in that life. I still remember him, how strong, loyal and just plain good he was. There will probably be more on him, probably a poem I wrote about him, later.
More later.
That was an interesting trip. I actually partially typed up this entry, but my computer's being a bitch. Oh well. I uncovered something important from my past...
I did love one person in Feudal Japan, but it never went anywhere. His name was Subaru (it was really Subarashi, but Subaru was his nickname). I had known him since I was a kid, and he was a year or to older than me. We worked in the part of the palace guard that dealt with the Yakuza, so we worked together quite a bit. He was also one of the only people who knew that I had been attacked by the Yakuza.
When I told him, he didn't judge me, but he held me when I started to cry. He was sweet like that. But I never realized how I felt about him, until the last time I saw him. He told me that he had been made an offer by a Yakuza to look the other way on a crime, and he was going to refuse the bribe. I tried to tell him, to tell him that they would kill him like they had tried to kill me, only it would probably work on him.
But he wouldn't listen, he was determined to do what was right. I was starting to get tears in my eyes, so he reached out and put his hand on my cheek. I can't describe how it felt, but it was like I was on fire. I couldn't move, I could barely breathed. I realized then how I felt about him. He just smiled sadly at me and told me that this was something he had to do, and then he left me.
I learned two days later of his death, and I wept, more than I can ever remember doing in that life. I still remember him, how strong, loyal and just plain good he was. There will probably be more on him, probably a poem I wrote about him, later.
More later.
