Evolutions

[athenaltena]

Today something extraordinary happened. It started when we watched Trigun in anime club, and when something Vash did, or almost did, struck a nerve in me. I was a mess, I very nearly collapsed. It was how I almost killed someone in cold blood, but how I stopped myself, and this thing inside me that wants to do that sometimes.

I was having a real, "who am I? what am I?" moment on the bus ride home, but then something came to me. I can't say what it was, but here's the jist of it:

1) This thing was my higher mind and the universe, which is one and the same
2) I am the universe, we are one and the same, I am a continuation of the universe's will, but I have my own will
3) I am no one's tool but my own, and therefore the universe's
4) I chose to go through all the pain, love and hardships I have experienced
5) I am an angel because chose to take a certain path
6) Everything I go through will continue my growth, the good and the bad, so I must hold onto them

And when I looked at my eyes later, they were different. Tyriel told me I have reached another stage of evolution of the spirit now.

I did not understand these lyrics before, now I do:

Life is not what I thought it was
24 hours ago
Still I'm singing
"Spirit, take me up in arms with you!"

And I'm not who I thought I was
24 hours ago
Still I'm singing
"Spirit, take me up in arms with you!"

But I want to be right today
Be centered and true
I'm singing
"Spirit, take me up in arms with you!"

I want to see miracles
To see the world change
I wrestled the angel
For more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing
"Spirit, take me up in arms with you!"

This is a new chapter in my legacy, starting now.

Comments

[muted-storms.livejournal.com]

I am the universe, we are one and the same, I am a continuation of the universe's will, but I have my own will

You know, I have not met anyone who thinks that way. I'm so glad to have found someone who does.

Ah, I believe this is *waves at the top* cause for celebration. Congratulations, and the best of luck. ^_^

[athenaltena.livejournal.com]

Thank you. At least you don't think I'm psycho. ^ ^
People always tell me that my mind is different than most people's, and as such it's been hard for me. Luckily there are open minded people like you who actually consider what I've said and don't immediately dismiss me. It was a real "Buddha moment" last night, but what I discovered won't mean the same thing to others. You must find it in yourself.
~AA

[aghostchild.livejournal.com]

i totally agree with this entry, and i love how incredibly profound trigun can be ^-^. most people don't find anime meaningful, but it often is