(no subject)

[athenaltena]

Sorry, Shiro, I need to get this off my chest, so I don't have to deal with this internally anymore:


I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes

(Just caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)
And every step that I take is another mistake to you
(Just caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me?
Holding too tight
Afraid to lose control
When everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart
Right in front of you
(Just caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)

And every second I waste is more than I can take...

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
And I know
You were just like me with someone dissapointed in you

I've become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you


This was how I felt when I left. But I can understand why he did what he did. He knew me failing could mean my death, but like a larger tree protecting a smaller one, I did not recieve enough light to grow strong enough for some period.

(Blinks)

Don't know where that analogy came from. I think the major lesson in my liason was learning to stand on my own. But when I got back, I had to answer to the lord of the castle and his lady, and at fist Shiro was going to plead insanity for me and take responsibility. But at the thing while he was talking I suddenly spoke up, asking to speak for myself. I remember how I felt Shiro tense up behind me. I said that it was my decision, and that I would take responsibility. They pardoned me, saying I had obviously matured and would be valuable to them. They thought like that.

Outside, Shiro *literally* slammed me against a wall and asked "What the hell were you doing?!" He just wanted me to live, and didn't understand why I had done that. I said that I was only telling the truth, and I needed to take responsibility for it. Then I asked him to put me down, since he was bruising my ribcage.

Good guy. His heart was in the right place, though it *really* hurts when he does that, he's quite strong.