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Oct. 9th, 2004 08:26 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
athenaltenaI'm so confused and annoyed with the world right now. I looked in a bible dictionary at the library and this is what the definition of "Angel", was:
A high ranking spirit serving god, or a spirit serving a higher good and is pure of lower thoughts and emotions.
Bull shit. Where do people get these ideas?! I'm living proof that the definition is wrong. It's true, some angels are pure and can think beyond that, and many of them seem to be perfect (but in fact aren't), while I'm the exact opposite. My mind, body and spirit are scarred and tainted by these "lower thoughts and emotions". I'm not a pure soul, and no one is in reality.
Okay, so I kinda blew a fuse. But I don't like people assuming stuff like that. As my dad says, "When you assume, it makes an Ass out of you and me".
Get it?
Anyway, that's true, and most of the people I know will say that definition is dead wrong. Maybe we can see deeper into some things than "normal" people, but we are in no way superior. People tend to get the imopression that I think I'm superior, but in fact the opposite is true. I'm a tortured, scarred soul who only knows what I do from screwing up so often. If it's taken me this long and this much pain to figure all of this stuff out, how does that make me superior?
Very few people understand just how scarred I really am. If someone were to look at me with my mental shields down, they would see that I am literally covered in scars that don't usually appear in the real world. I wish that people could just understand that.
Great, I'm starting to cry. I wish I could take it away sometimes, not have to live with this burden of knowledge. I have to deal with it everyday, and realize what an idiot I've been as well as the price I've paid for it. I sometimes just want to show my memories to people, in the off chance that maybe, just maybe they would understand.
A high ranking spirit serving god, or a spirit serving a higher good and is pure of lower thoughts and emotions.
Bull shit. Where do people get these ideas?! I'm living proof that the definition is wrong. It's true, some angels are pure and can think beyond that, and many of them seem to be perfect (but in fact aren't), while I'm the exact opposite. My mind, body and spirit are scarred and tainted by these "lower thoughts and emotions". I'm not a pure soul, and no one is in reality.
Okay, so I kinda blew a fuse. But I don't like people assuming stuff like that. As my dad says, "When you assume, it makes an Ass out of you and me".
Get it?
Anyway, that's true, and most of the people I know will say that definition is dead wrong. Maybe we can see deeper into some things than "normal" people, but we are in no way superior. People tend to get the imopression that I think I'm superior, but in fact the opposite is true. I'm a tortured, scarred soul who only knows what I do from screwing up so often. If it's taken me this long and this much pain to figure all of this stuff out, how does that make me superior?
Very few people understand just how scarred I really am. If someone were to look at me with my mental shields down, they would see that I am literally covered in scars that don't usually appear in the real world. I wish that people could just understand that.
Great, I'm starting to cry. I wish I could take it away sometimes, not have to live with this burden of knowledge. I have to deal with it everyday, and realize what an idiot I've been as well as the price I've paid for it. I sometimes just want to show my memories to people, in the off chance that maybe, just maybe they would understand.
