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[athenaltena]

Every time I see this argument it pisses me off more:

"Well, sexual orientation is only one part of a person's identity, so it shouldn't really matter!"

Now, granted, that's usually said by well meaning individuals (though I've seen it used often enough by people saying not to have pride parades or flags or what have you because it makes them uncomfortable), but they miss a very important point regardless:

The Law thinks otherwise!

Yes, despite the fact that I wholeheartedly agree and actually have said similar stuff regarding my own orientation, in many places I can be fired for being openly gay, still be kicked out of the military if I say I'm gay, I could not be able to adopt or have legal rights to a child because I'm gay, and I do not have the same legal rights as far as the federal government is concerned when it comes to being with a person I love. So as nice a sentiment as that is, it's not reality. And don't get me started on the fact that people are kicked out of their homes, disowned, beaten up, or yes, even killed for being gay on a regular basis, so most of humanity obviously thinks otherwise.

Ideally no one would give a flying fuck about who is attracted to whom, but this is real life and it does count! It's the same with people who do this "Straight Pride" crap, as they primarily miss the message of Gay Pride (yes, I wrote an article on this last year, but I'm pissed off so forgive me for repeating myself) which is not just to show off. It's to say "I exist and am human and as far as the law is concerned I'm not equal compared to other people and it's not right!"

Comments

[a-white-rain.livejournal.com]

I agree so much.

If I want to marry a girl, I should have every single right that I would have should I want to marry a boy. Duh. I just. Why is this even argued? asofdi

[aghostchild.livejournal.com]

exactly. the world, unfortunately, has a long way to go.

[yourmisserin.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you. I don't see how anyone could find a valid argument against what you have to say. Straight pride parades always pissed me off as well. As usual people in the majority take things too personally and can't see beyond themselves.

[guubear.livejournal.com]

guess why i haven't come out of the closet irl.

;_;

[athenaltena.livejournal.com]

*hugs*

I may act like I'm totally out of the closet, but I'm not, for the same reason.

[aureantes.livejournal.com]

There are straight pride parades?????

*headdesk*

That's even less justified than White Nationalism. Even within queer politics (a rather limited influence), there is no way under heaven that straight people are being systematically discriminated against as a class in this country....which, in my observation, is the main reason for asserting "Pride", against actual social pressure and repression -- pride rather than unjustified shame. If straight people have never felt pressured to hide and be ashamed for simply being who/what they are as straight, then they just don't get Pride.....neither conceptually nor as a validated group activity of their own.

All the time that I was in community college, the campus sexual diversity group was exhaustive in being open to all students and community members -- gay, bisexual, transsexual, asexual, and "straight but not narrow (-minded)"....the whole idea of "straight allies" was totally there in the mid-'90s, so what has changed (or been manipulated) to lead to a backlash?

Hmm, good question, says I. Personally, I think that there's been a failure in our politics to solidify what social acceptance we had before rushing ahead to carve out new territory. Not meaning marriage -- that could have been in the bag with different presidents and party agendas....I mean things like making sure that people understand that we're not all the same, that we're born different, wired different, and that that is not just a "lifestyle" but valid reality. The terminology got socially watered down to fit in as "we're all normal people", and meanwhile the academics of sexuality and gender theory have gone on expanding and challenging and deconstructing to the point that there are two (at least) different languages of queerness overall that do not match well, and are not made well-understood anymore to the general public, because it's assumed that they already got the point of the first wave through mass media exposure. Which many of them didn't...there are enclaves of sociosexual backwardness that were allowed to go on blithely being backward, because the world of modern communications is so self-selecting in terms of information that people no longer have to read or hear anything that they don't want to. And it's been deliberately exploited, we all know that....

There's got to be a way of reconsolidating our political culture and communications to make sure that people outside the loop don't feel like we're alien invaders or something. I've seen both major sides of it -- that established mainly around sexual orientation with a bone or two tossed to the trannies, and that fixated on gender (and post-gender...) theory with a massive chip on its shoulder 'cause of non-support and dismissiveness from the LG-whatever-the-rest-of-those-letters-are mainstream figurehead organizations. And I have as little patience with the ivory-tower post-genderists and their 'zies' and 'hirs' as I do with the HRC's campaign callers addressing me as "ma'am" despite the name on my mail (had at least 3 run-ins on this). They need to get their act together and find some real-life consensus, or else they make it easier to pull the whole movement apart.

Hmm. Makes me feel like doing some guerrilla outreach work for National Coming Out Day....>:)

[iamasalmonscarf.livejournal.com]

You're quite right about it. See, saying that sexual orientation is only part of your identity and doesn't matter is like saying that your ethnicity doesn't matter. In America, this is unimaginable, because even in the most WASPish communities, people are from such a variety of countries and regions. But in Germany, where moving homes is extremely rare, everyone assumes that all of the people around them are also German. In the same way, in a culture where everyone was questioning, sexual orientation would be a pretty big fucking deal for everyone. But this is totally different.