What I was writing when I should have been sleeping

[athenaltena]

God... Plato must've been an insomniac. More Kabbalah musings under cut so I can get this out of my head and finally get some sleep for tommarrow!

For those of you following my musings, this may make a shred of sense. If you haven't... Well, it may be quite hard to understand. Even I have a hard time getting it, and it's from my own head!

I find the concept that one can be "born innocent" to be interesting. From my point of view, this would be fundementally a bad thing. It would make more sense if people were born with both aspects, that of Chesed (mercy) and Gevurah (severity). I think it would make sense if somehow people could partially lose either of these throughout their lives, but that upon birth or creation or what-have-you, started out with both.

The idea of "innocence" ties into this. When faced with two people; one a vicious murderer with no restraint and one a person who cannot harm another living creature even to defend itself, we gravitate towards the innocent in this situation. However, in real life, both are equally unbalanced. One needs both severity and mercy to exist in this world, and lacking either of those causes imbalance and leads to discord for the individual. A person who cannot defend themselves will likely die quickly, while one who kills without restraint cannot function in acceptable society and will eventually be either disposed of or exiled. Both of these are just facts of life.

My dad just pointed out that cats seem to represent this balance between the two quite well: They are kind, loving and calm at times, and yet can become a vicious hunter in an instant. And yet they seem to have no internal strife because of this duality. Likewise, humans seem to need this balance and suffer when it is thrown off. I've recently felt my own inner balance fall slightly off on occasion, because it is imprinted on me that I should embrace the innocent and reject the severity, when in reality I need both. Hence the Yin-Yang, which I actually have on a pendent around my neck, and what it represents: The need for the coexistance and codependence of two opposites in order for anything to be accomplished.

Comments

[drusilladom.livejournal.com]

I have somewhat of the opposite problem that you described. It's not as if I go around mass murdering people or anything, but I feel that the balance of my self is upset in the direction of severity. I have a difficult time reckoning certain past aspects of myself with those present, and as such that makes it difficult to function in the present. Not only that, but as of late I have constatnly been on guard for a number of reasons, and that only adds to my imbalance. It's as if my self has been on this "protect" kick for so long that it forgot how to be the protected.

[athenaltena.livejournal.com]

Well, at least you're aware of that. I think all of us get out of balance on occasion (the mercy aspect of me seems to be predominate at the moment) but I think eventually it gets back in order. I hope you remember "how to be the protected" soon though, hun.