Things I overheard while talking to myself

I think I might be coming down with something, since it was even harder to get up than usual and it feels like someone filled my limbs with lead when I wasn’t looking. Might just be the seasonal allergy crap and something piggybacking off it. Although I'm doing better than one of my friends, since his nose has been bleeding on and off for a couple days now. I told him he should probably see a doctor about that (and resisted making a snarky comment about how women don't tend to whine as much as he does when they bleed for several days at a time).

I also had a dream where a red-crowned crane showed up in my parents' backyard, and I was trying to get a photograph of it. Even in the dream I knew how improbable it was that a crane native to Asia would show up in New England. This was interesting since my great-grandmother did a painting of red-crowned cranes that's in my parents' living room, and she's a definite presence in our lives even though she died before I was born. I'm hoping it's a  good sign.

I don’t think I’ve had that variety of anxiety dream for a while now. I dreamed I was back in high school (and if you’ve followed my journal long enough you know that alone is enough to classify it as a nightmare) and all sorts of foolishness ensued.

I couldn’t take my car in since my dad was using it (which is in fact true at the moment, though I don’t need my car out here) and had to take the bus. I’ve mentioned before that if I never have to be on another school bus in my life I will be all too happy, since at nearly 22 years old I still have nightmares about the school bus thanks to the shit kids used to do to me when I had to take it and the fact that the adults at school were too incompetent to do anything about it (yeah, still have a chip on my shoulder, why do you ask?).

In the dream I also showed up to school wearing my panda nightshirt (which I actually wore to bed) and had to struggle to find decent clothes in the lost and found while late for my first class. This was no doubt prompted by the fact that my last semester of college classes start tomorrow.

This dream did remind me why I think that anyone who wants to be a teenager again is either a fucking moron, in denial or has serious memory loss. It sucked.

So that has to be one of the weirder dream experiences of late. Essentially, a recursive dream and a nightmare about a nightmare.

Last night I started to get terrible indigestion around two in the morning, and though it eventually lessened it was pretty uncomfortable. I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it was that I ate that did that. I woke up sometime around 9 with my alarm, but then somehow fell back asleep.

And the dream I had was about... being in a dream. Or more specifically, having sleep paralysis, aka the body still being asleep but the mind being awake, which happens to be one of my phobias since you can't move or communicate. It was fairly freaky, since I wanted to move but couldn't, and I was thoroughly convinced that it was real until I woke up for real and was able to get up in real life without problems. It was still pretty weird, and it was only later that I made the Inception connection.

GET OUT OF MY HEAD, DOM COBB!

Angelo's comment on this was "we need to get you a top."

This was an interesting one. I was older and was looking to buy a big farmhouse out in the country (which is an actual fantasy of mine) and found one that had something like 25 rooms and was really nice. There was just one catch: It was haunted. Yeah, big surprise.

But that wasn't the weird part. The weird part was that one of the ghosts, named Chloe (obvious Noir influence there) was a little girl who was actually very nice, and she actually sent me a text message saying that she was glad someone was buying the place. I'm not even going to try to figure out just how a ghost could do that.

The last thing I remember is trying to find someone who could help me get rid of the negative energy in the house while keeping the benevolent ghosts.

When I woke up I told Angelo about this, and his response was "So basically you ran into Casper's sister."

Pretty much, yeah.

So I was having a dream where all the things I have to deal with in the next month or so were suddenly solved in one fell swoop...

... And then I woke up.

Noooooo!!!

Damn you, subconscious, for being such a freaking tease. And I can't even remember what I did in the dream to solve everything! Gah!

(There is, however, a possible light at the end of the tunnel in all this, but I need to take care of some more immediate crap before I can pursue it, so details later)

Had a strange dream involving elephants that we were keeping on our property for some reason in a compound that was in retrospect a death trap, but they kept escaping into the horse paddock and generally causing havoc.

Also for some reason I was carting around a really big gun (a hand cannon, really) that I inherited from somewhere and think was supposed to be a Desert Eagle. I spent most of this dream trying to fire it one-handed, which is incredibly stupid since unless you're superhuman if you're of my body type you wouldn't be able to do it without firing in the completely wrong direction or sending it into your foot or some hapless civilian. I even remember thinking in the dream that it was too heavy to fire like that. And I don't even like guns!

And no, I don't think it was commentary on the Republican party so much as my brain throwing random crap together while I slept. That possibility only occurred me to me after I woke up, and I have no idea what the message would even be if it had made any sense. The elephants were interesting, though. Dream me with the gun, however, was an idiot.

Oh yeah. You know you've had glasses for a while when you have a recurring nightmare where one of the following happens:

Since I more or less consider them a part of my body this is a worrying concept, since it's more or less the equivalent of something happening to my eyes themselves. At a church picnic a few weeks ago I was a bit nervous that a kid I was playing with would hit me in the face with a ball and break them, since they'd break before my face did, which on the one hand is a good thing since it's not bone but also a pain since it would take a few days to replace them and in the meantime I'd have painful eye strain. In theory I could use the prescription sunglasses as a substitute, but for obvious reasons that might be awkward.

So that's the content of my anxiety dreams these days. Take from that what you will.

Now that I'm back in Hell school for the next 9 days (why no, I'm not counting down at all) between schoolwork I also found a website for students that allows you to send a "bid" of how much you're willing to get paid for part-time stuff, and I already sent in one thing and bookmarked another. I obviously won't be able to do anything until next semester after the break, but I've got a plan.

I was also thinking about the aforementioned professor who turned out to be some really famous person in the field, and in thinking about that I decided that I want to be her when I get older. I mean, she's very cool, very smart, has about two dozen books under her belt, runs a center on restorative justice and is nationally respected. That's certainly something to aim at, me thinks.

I'm also in the process of scheming about a possible way to reprise my drag personality in the Spring Showcase that the school puts on (I've more or less determined that I can't play a woman on stage, but frankly playing a guy is more fun). Assuming that I can find a guy willing to dress up as a woman (just so we can totally mess with gender) I can see us doing a kickass duet to this song:

( Read more... )

Other than that, mainly just need to survive until the end of the semester. Then I can sleep. Oh, and for some reason I had a nightmare the other night involving math. Yeah. It's getting to my head.

I think the Weird Dream Fairy that's been bothering my Mom paid me a visit last night.

I don't really remember the details, but it had something to do with Zack from Final Fantasy VII, an airship, and a ski resort. Then it somehow shifted to me and a bunch of people putting Peeps (the little marshmallow things) around a Pokemon (I think it was a Chancey) in a shopping cart and rolling it down a hill... and somehow the Chancey exploded into sugary stuff. 0_o

Oh, and one of the three or four people doing this with me looked like Tres from Trinity Blood. I have no freakin' idea what any of that meant.

I had a dream about My-Otome last night, specifically the yet-to-be-released prequel. And you know what? The plot in my dream will probably turn out to be better than what actually happens. Even the parts that made no sense (yeah, still hurting over Zwei).

I was also awoken by Jesse, who somehow managed to get into my room despite the door being shut and put his paws on the frame so he was standing up and looking me at eye level. That was a pretty strange way to wake up, but still doesn't match the time he licked my face until I was awake. Now that was weird, and happened in the middle of a dream no less.

In other news, I think Jeremy the new manager is a good guy. Today was the first time I'd worked alone with him, and he's certainly not as temperamental as Jon, which is something of a relief even though I could pretty easily deal with Jon's mood swings. Jeremy also brought up trying to get me a raise again, but said he'd wait until after minimum wage goes up at the end of the year just in case they try to sleaze me and claim the minimum wage jump was my raise. I was thinking "Bout damn time!" but was polite as he said it. It's nice to know that he acknowledges that I work hard and will try and help me out when he can, which is really all I ask for (and the extra money that I've by now more than earned helps).

I also managed to speed up Leto (the computer) considerably after business became dead at work after about 5, no doubt helped by the fact that it started raining. I'd noticed it was running slow, so I defragged it, deleted some stuff and changed around some settings. Now it's running like new, so I declare it a success! Didn't even take me half an hour to sort everything out.

And family Turkey Day tomorrow followed by the now semi-annual after party at Alison's. I can't wait to see her cat Linus again. And Alison and Milt, of course. ^_^